Am I expected to buy a gift for my son's ex-girlfriend's wedding?

She broke all of our hearts a year ago when she broke up with my son and she is now getting married (14 months later) and has invited all of us (son included) to her wedding. We've already decided it would be too difficult to attend the wedding but several have mentioned that I should send a gift. I've looked over her wedding registration and really haven't found anything I would feel comfortable sending her. Would it be tactless if I didn't send a gift?


Jul 11, 2011
Ex-girlfriend's Wedding
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

You do pose a good question. It sounds like you were all really close to this girl and she made an impact in your lives...for better and for worse. It is difficult when a relationship ends, especially if the entire family liked the person who left.

She obviously has kept her good feelings toward you all, as she has invited you to a special day for her. Unfortunately for you, it is difficult.

It is completely understandable that you all would not feel comfortable attending. My compliments to you for looking to see if there would be a gift that you feel comfortable sending. In this situation, you are not required to send a gift. If you feel like you need to send something, a card is acceptable.

As difficult as it is, in time these things usually work out for the best. I have experienced something similar to this situation, and ended up on the better end. A gentleman I dated broke up with me and married another girl. I loved his family and the feelings were mutual. At his family's request, he invited my parents and I to his wedding. I went to the wedding only to see his family and spend some time with them. I didn't take a gift, and I honestly do not regret that decision. I only regret attending as it made his new bride very uncomfortable to have the ex there.

I hope this helps your situation. Best wishes.