Am I obligated to help with a baby shower if asked?

Hi ~ I was asked recently if I'd be willing to help throw a baby shower for a friend I met through work. This co-worker and I have had issues maintaining our friendship in the past. We've made strides in our relationship, but we are certainly not as close as we used to be. I declined the invitation to help. I'm simply not comfortable doing this given our past. I'm now receiving messages from her other friends stating I'm a lousy friend. Am I obligated to help with a baby shower if asked?


Aug 29, 2011
Baby Shower Help
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question!

You present an interesting situation here. Sometimes friendships don't always work out the best. As people are so different, it is easy to have difficulties with each other. While these difficulties can be worked out, they take time and healing, as you no doubt understand with this situation.

It is very clear that the other friends who are throwing the baby shower do not understand the ups and downs of the friendship you have with this co-worker. They are not being very considerate in telling you the things they have.

You have done what you have felt is right for you at this time. It is hard to put yourself out there when you are healing. The best thing you can do is continue to make strides in the friendship with this co-worker. Your heart will tell you what you should and should not do. It is better to listen to your heart rather than people who don't understand.

Best wishes!