Attending baby shower when paternity is in serious question?

Mother to be has invited the potential father to be's family to her baby shower when there are many other potential sperm donors who refuse to claim this child. Potential father to be has been semi involved (in case it is his) and now the family is invited to the baby shower. Are we expected to attend? should we bring a gift? or decline the invitation and be uninvolved until the paternity test comes back.


Jun 27, 2011
Attending Baby Shower or Not?
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Obviously, this situation is not ideal and it will probably be awkward until the paternity test results come back. So, what do you do in the meantime?

The best thing to do in a case like this is to assume that the baby's father is part of your family. Meaning, treat the child and the mother's family as if they are your own.

There are more issues here than just the baby here. What about the mother of the baby and her family? If you remain unresponsive, how will they interpret that? They probably will think that you only want to be involved out of responsibility (because you have to) rather than out of love and support (because you want to).

It will be easier to step out later on if the results come back that the baby is not part of your family.

It is also easier to continue to be part of the baby's life if you have already been a part of it.

You will be better all the way around by assuming that it is part of your family from the get go.