Do I ask if I'm invited to a wedding WHILE at the bridal shower?

by CAS
(CT)

I have been invited to a bridal shower but not received a "save the date" or invitation to the wedding. I said I'd go to the bridal shower but do I mention I haven't received a wedding invite (even tho I know she sent them out to guests) or just let it slide? I have only known the bride and groom for a year and though we talk on facebook a lot and have had camping trips together and nights out it's still only a year of friendship.
I went to a movie with the bride about 2 months ago and she had mentioned her wedding was already over 30,000.00 so I understand if she doesn't want to add 2 more people (my boyfriend and I) but I don't know what to do.


Aug 07, 2011
Bridal Shower Question
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

This is an interesting situation. Normally guests who are invited to the bridal shower are invited to the wedding. It is very uncommon that bridal shower guests are not invited.

However there are usually some circumstances that make it so that people on the bridal shower guest list are not on the wedding guest list. You said that you had spoken to the bride a couple of months ago and she said that her wedding is already costing over $30,000.

With that being said, the guest list may be full with family and friends of the family. So the solution to include people who are special to the bride and groom, they invited them to a shower. This happened to me some years ago. I didn't quite understand at the time, because like you, I received an invite to the shower and not the wedding.

If I were you, I would let it slide and not bring it up. The bride may even explain everything at the shower without anyone asking. For what it is worth, celebrate with her at the shower. It is a more intimate setting and you will be able to enjoy more time with her.

Best wishes to you!