Do I return the plate I was given with cookies on it?

by Linda
(California)

It was my birthday, and a co-worker baked some cookies for me and gave them to me on a beautiful plate. She just said, "Happy Birthday." I really love the plate. Is that considered part of the gift? I feel kind of funny asking her if she wants her plate back.


Jun 16, 2011
Birthday Plate
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question!

I have had that dilemma on numerous occasions. Here is what I have found to work the best...

It is best to wash the plate and take it back to work with you. Thank your friend for the thoughtfulness of the cookies. Offer to give her the plate. If it is a gift for you she will let you know. At that point tell her how much you love the plate.

If it was not intended as part of the gift, she will be very grateful that you took the time to wash it and bring it back.

Most of the time, the plate has been a part of the gift and the giver was gracious about the offer to return it.

Best wishes!