Does the mother of the bride help her go shopping for the dress?

by Jane
(Grand Junction, CO USA)

This is ruining the whole thing for me. My ex husband, who has financially spoiled our daughter is going to Denver tomorrow to watch our daughter try on dresses. I wanted it to be a mother/daughter thing and he has ruined it. She's more than happy to have "the man with the bigger checkbook". I offered to come over last weekend and buy her a dress but it seems that the first baseball game was more important. I refuse to drive 5 hrs each way with HIM!


Apr 13, 2011
Mother of the Bride
by: Wendy from Modern Manners and Etiquette

You have few options in this situation, however the most important thing for you to remember is this is her wedding. She may want both you and her father involved in different ways. Unfortunately the bigger checkbook is going to win in certain areas of the planning and execution of this event. The most important thing for you to do is to maintain good communication with her.

If differences between her father and yourself are keeping you from traveling with him, find other times and places that just you and your daughter can do things together. Traditionally it is the mother that accompanies her daughter to select her dress. I am not sure I know of very many fathers who want to be there for that process. It can be difficult for them. There are other times that you can be there for her, such as selecting the flowers, catering, bridesmaids dresses and such.

The best thing for you to do is remain supportive of her and find ways to work around the differences you have with her father.