Excluding "Relative" from wedding guest list

(Buffalo, NY)

My son will be married in October. Recently, my younger sister returned to an abusive husband (this, after having had to get a restraining order against him). It was very upsetting to us to see her willingly return to this situation. My son, who has always been close to my sister as they are fairly close in age, does not want my sister's husband at the wedding. Neither do I, nor the rest of my 5 siblings. My sister is aware of how we feel about her husband. My son is asking me how to address my sister's invitation. His original plan was to address it "Mary and guest," assuming she would bring her teenaged son. How *does* he address my sister's invitation to make it clear her husband is not welcome? The 'man' is in town only 1 week per month due to his job, so he may not even be in town at the time of the wedding. I really don't care if it's rude to exclude him. It's more important to my son & me that the family does not not have to be in his disgusting presence. Thank you.


Jul 11, 2011
Excluding a relative from a wedding invitation
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

I am sorry to hear that she decided to get back into that relationship. I really hope for her sake that either he changes his ways, or that she realizes she does not need to live in that kind of a relationship. But, that is another matter entirely...

In regards to the wedding invitation, since you are not concerned about his feelings, go ahead and exclude him on the invitation. It sounds like chances are high that he would not be in town to attend the event anyway.

So, in that case, you could address it to just her, or her and her son if that is who you wanted to attend.

I would hesitate to put her and a guest because that opens up the door for him to attend if he is in town during that time. You would really be better off, in this case, just addressing the invitation to the people that you want to attend.

That way, they will get a very clear message of who is invited and who is not.

Enjoy the wedding!