How do I deal with my Mother in law?

by Jennifer Rowland
(Woodland, Wa USA)

She does not want to see me or the baby, and she still wants us to give her up for adoption. I am 23 yrs old, and my fiancee is 20. She always makes him feel two inches tall, and he ends up spending some time in the mental hospital when he has to see her. She is always letting him know what kind of a disappointment he is, and it really feels like she doesn't even love him. His sister is pregnant, and single, but his mother is over the moon about her pregnancy. I want to punch her face off, but I obviously can't do that. Please tell me what to do...


Jul 29, 2011
What to Do...
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

It sounds like a very difficult situation you are in. There are never easy, cut and dry answers with relationships like this.

I cannot understand why a mother would treat her child in a manner that you have described. He is fortunate to have someone like you in his life that will bear him up and give him strength when he needs it.

If it is indeed as bad as you say, and he has to have professional help to recover after he sees her, then it might be wise for you both to stay away from her. You are right, punching her in the face is not an option.

Unfortunately there are times when it is better to let go of something or someone that is not healthy in order for healing to take place. It is scary, because it is letting go of people and things that are 'normal' to you or them.

Your fiance needs to find who he is, the strong person that you see in order to become what he wants to be. There will come a time in the future that he will be ready to be around her again. Until that time, you need to build yourselves together.

I hope this helps and I truly wish you the best of luck. You two deserve to find strength and happiness on a journey that is uniquely for you.