How to approach this situation properly, funeral and birthday same day?

by Catherine
(Augusta, KS)

My sister just died, her funeral, internment, and family dinner is on the day of her husband's birthday. We would like to know how to properly handle this situation so not to appear to take lite of her death and how to acknowledge her husband's birthday in a respectful manner.


Aug 29, 2011
Honoring a Funeral & Birthday
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

I am sorry to hear of the passing of your sister. It is always a difficult time losing a loved one. I am sure it is especially difficult for her husband. It is very thoughtful of you to want to honor him on his birthday, even though it will be a difficult day.

The funeral, internment and family dinner are all wonderful ways to honor your sister. At times they are a necessary part of the grieving process. They help those who are left to honor, remember and begin to move forward while being surrounded by loved ones.

As they will all take place on his birthday, the best thing you can do for his birthday is quietly acknowledge that it is his birthday with an appropriate card and simply be there for him throughout the day.

After everything is done and life begins again, a good idea would be to take him out for a quiet birthday dinner. This will give him time to share with people who care about him, who will understand how he is feeling.

I hope this helps at this time for you. My condolences to you and yours.