Is is proper for the bride & groom to say I only want gift cards or money at a shower.

by Connie
(Beulaville, NC )

My grandson is getting married and we are giving him a Man Shower to honor him. He has decided that he wants everyone to just give him gift cards or money. He wants us to put on the invitation gift cards or cash only. I think that is improper and said no. To me that is saying I want you to come to my shower but you can't possible know what I want or like. Just give me the money. His thought is I can get one big thing that I need or want.


Jul 14, 2011
Asking for money on a wedding invitation
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Generally speaking, it is improper to put anything on a wedding invitation regarding gifts whether it be about what to buy them, or about bringing cash.

The only situation I have ever seen where it was somewhat appropriate (and even then, it is still against proper wedding etiquette) is when people were bring remarried and they already had all the items they needed to furnish a home. They had a wishing well at the reception and had asked people on the invitation to bring a card for the wishing well.

Your grandson needs to remember that gifts are optional and what they receive as a gift is because people love them and are excited for them.

The next best solution would be for them to register with a store that has a return policy that will allow them to return the items for cash. This can have its flaws though.

What happens when one of the wedding guests goes over to their place and doesn't see the item that they purchased? This can frequently happen since the people providing gifts are usually friends or family that would go to their place after they are married.

It is something for them to think about. Enjoy the wedding and congratulations to your family for this special occasion!