Is it proper Etiquette for someone to ask if you are giving them a gift?

by Sandy
(Wisconsin)

I was invited to a baby shower but due to business demands I could not make it nor could I get a gift to this one. I did RSVP that I could not attend due to business reasons. I was then informed of another baby shower that was being given, that they thought I could attend (it's at a place I work part time at). I let them know due to family commitments that I was sorry but could not attend that one either but I did let her mother know that I would have a gift at this second baby shower for her. My husband works at the same place and he said he could take the gift in to work with him the day of the shower. However, the first Monday after the baby shower, the mother to be stopped my husband at work and asked him if I was going to give her a gift, which I thought was rather rude. I am on a very limited budget as my heath takes a bite out of my budget for my prescriptions. I have a beautiful hand knit baby blanket that is just about done and was going to get her a case of diapers. However at this time I am more than a little upset with this young lady. I have listened to her for months begging everyone for gifts, clothes, any and all baby items. She has broadcast to everyone that she has enough clothes for the next three years and yet she asks my husband if I am going to give her a gift.

Jun 12, 2011
Rude to ask for a gift!!!
by: Anonymous

What is it with this day and age that people expect a gift at every occasion? A gift is what it is...given with the heart and not to be expected. It's TACKY to ask for a gift from anyone!!!! I feel it is rude to ask for one, but then I grew up in the old days where giving showers for family members was unacceptable, unless it was for family only.
Days have changed and not for the best!


Feb 24, 2011
Proper Etiquette?
by: Kevin (Modern Manners Admin)

The proper etiquette is to not ask for a gift. Anyone having a baby shower should not be asking for presents as that is tasteless and tacky.

People should give a gift because they want to. Not because they feel pressured into doing so.

It is really up to you whether or not you decide to give a gift. The main advice I would give you though is to take the high road. Even though the mother to be has not acted the right way, do not let it influence your actions. I believe that if you do the right thing, no one will have a reason to think less of you.

You have committed to giving a gift. I would follow through and fulfill your commitment.