Is it rude to ask what someone is having for dinner if it depends whether you accept dinner invite or not?

by Macarena
(Simi Valley, CA)

My daughter is going to a friend's house for dinner and has accepted the invite now she wants to ask her friend that if she doesn't like what they are having then she's not going. I think that is rude my husband doesn't think it is.


Aug 13, 2011
Going to Dinner Based on the Menu
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for asking the question.

In general, it is impolite to base your attendance for a meal on what will be served. In essence, you are telling the host that their food is not appreciated and that you are not thankful for what is being offered.

There is only one exception to this that I know of and that is food allergies. If your daughter is allergic to something, then she should speak up so that the host knows not to prepare something that is going to make her sick.

No one wants to have someone over for dinner and unintentionally make them sick. The host would be grateful to know of a food allergy in advance.

Your question is really based on the principle of showing gratitude for the food being offered whether your daughter likes that food or not.