Is it wrong not to invite the dog too?

by Annie
(Fayetteville, NC)

In-laws got a dog.

They expected to bring Fido along with them while they visit with us for a few days. They didn't ask, just expected it.

Some background -- We (my husband and I) don't like guests visiting with their animals. We always made it perfectly clear to all family and friends to please visit, but we can't accommodate your animals. We have had this policy for 20 years.

Reasons for our preference: we want focus on the visit to be about the people (not chasing and worrying about animals), we have a cat that stays in part of our house, only part of the house because of allergies, and we have a new house and we don't want someone else's animal running around.

We invited the in-laws to visit but asked that they make alternate arrangements for Fido. They won't come and it is causing a rift in the family.

Are we right because "our house, our rules"? or are the in-laws right in feeling they are entitled to bring Fido even if we don't like it?

HELP


Apr 19, 2011
Dog Too
by: Anonymous

I think it is very disrespectful to assume that people are suppose to accommodate pets anywhere but their own home. It's great that they love their pets, but to assume that everyone else has to like/love them as much as they do, is not being respectful of their property or feelings.
Why not a kennel or have a dog sitter come to your home?
It is only common courtesy to not bring, let alone, assume your pets are welcome at another person's home or family member.
If I invite someone to my home for a visit, and I know they have a pet, I would tell them to bring the pet if I wanted it at my home.


Apr 12, 2011
Dog Guests
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

You raise a very good point with this question. Etiquette does not mean you have to accommodate everyone and everything. Etiquette is using your manners.

You and your husband have valid reasons for not wanting to have pet guests with your house guests. You understand what would happen to you and your home if another pet came to visit. It is vital that you maintain your rules. You have offered solutions and unfortunately they are not being considered.

It is not showing good manners and etiquette when people demand you to change to accommodate what they want. A pet is their responsibility to take care of when they are traveling. It is not polite to assume that everyone will want to love and take care of Fido. My husband and I have the same reasons that you do in not wanting pets in our home.

Continue to look for solutions that would offer a middle ground. It is important that you maintain your standards/rules with class.

Thank you for your question! I hope that this helps you! Best wishes....