My husband's son is getting married... on the church program is it correct to say Father of the Groom - his name and mine (the wife) instead of stepmother?

I have been married for six years (2nd marriage). My husband's son is getting married and they do not consider me their step-mom. Put it this way, their mother died and they cannot use the word mom in any way. They always address me as their father's wife. (I have known them all since before the younger one was born, she is 30). My question, upon writing their program for their wedding ceremony, the son listed as follows:

Parents of the bride
Mr. and Mrs. Jim Kearns

Father of the groom
Mr. and Mrs. T. Corrao

or

Is it better to say:

Father and stepmother of the groom
Mr. and Mrs. T. Corrao


Aug 16, 2011
Wedding Program
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

This is a good question for your situation. It is good that you are sensitive to the desires of the children and want to make it work.

I would use the first listing you had for the program:

Father of the Groom
Mr. and Mrs. T. Corrao

The reason behind this is the difficulty that the children have with the word mom/mother. It is a way to respect this and include you.

Best wishes on a wonderful day!