Proper etiquette for niece's shower and wedding...

by Diane
(Auburn, Ca, USA)

I divorced my husband 16 years ago. We have two sons. His sister and I have remained friends and her daughters have always been a part of my life even after the divorce. I've been invited to my niece's (She still calls me Aunt) shower and wedding. The woman my ex-husband has lived with for almost 16 years was the reason for our divorce. She is also invited to the shower and wedding. Is it proper etiquette to attend both events since there was some bad blood between my ex and his now live-in common law wife?


Aug 20, 2011
Attend Niece's Wedding?
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

From my point of view, it is interesting to see how divorce makes simple things more complicated. The reason that I say that is that the majority of questions that are asked have to do with divorce in some way, shape, or form.

I also lead with that comment because I want to make your question much easier for everyone. Let's pretend that the divorce never happened. Would you attend the wedding and the shower? I get the sense that you would answer yes to that question.

If that is the case, then you really should attend both events anyway. If you have remained involved in her life, her wedding is no time to stop being involved. She is going to expect you to be there to support her. A divorce should not stop that.

If you cannot remain civil with the ex-husband, then you need to either keep your distance from him at the festivities or you may need to consider not attending. If you do not attend, you owe it to your niece to explain the situation and why you will not be attending.

For the sake of your niece, I hope that you can put your personal feelings aside for one night and support your niece.

Good luck at the wedding!