Save The Date Was Declined, Do I still send a formal invitation?

by Jeanne
(Millsboro, DE, USA)

I sent out save the date cards for my husbands 60th birthday party. One of the invitees called and stated they could not make the party due to a previous engagement. Do I still send them an invitation to the party?

May 09, 2011
Send An Invitation After A Declined Save The Date?
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

There is proper etiquette when it comes to sending a save the date and an invitation after the save the date was declined. In order to understand the proper etiquette, you really have to look at this from both perspectives of each person.

You are likely asking this question because you want them to know that they are invited even though they are unable to attend due to a previous commitment. So, you want to ask the question so that you do not offend them or hurt their feelings. That is a noble thing!

However, you have to look at this situation from their point of view. They declined because they already committed to attending something else. So, if you were to send an invitation, they would probably think that you were ignoring them when they said that they could not attend. People hate it when they think others are not listening to them.

In this case, proper etiquette would say that you do not send the invitation. They already know that they were invited because you sent them the save the date notification.

Hope that helps.