Should a spouse wait for her husband to join a drink "cheers" if he is pooring the drinks.

by Bob
(Canada)

My wife and I and another couple got together for a visit last night and my wife initiated a cheers before I had poured my drink.

After wards, I mentioned that it would have been nice if she could have waited until I could join in. She said I should have stopped the cheers and I suggested that maybe it wouldn't be a stretch on her part to have realized there were 4 of us standing there. She thinks I am insecure as it made me feel left out but I think it was just rude.

???


Dec 06, 2010
Soliving "The Pouring Drinks" Riddle
by: Kevin Smullin

I am sure that everyone who reads this has an opinion on it, but that is a good thing as they can chime in.

From my perspective, I look at it this way: Manners and etiquette are really nothing more than thinking of the feelings of others and putting them before your own feelings. From that point-of-view, I think there needs to be some mutual conversation between the two of you.

Should she have waited? Sure, that would have been the polite thing to do. Maybe it was unintentional on her part. Most people do not do something offensive intentionally. It is usually a lack of thinking, or a lack of understanding.

On your part, there is also room to be a little more conscious of her feelings. Accusing someone is an attack on them and that isn't really the polite thing to do either.

Aside from this question on who is right and who is wrong is a larger issue. That is one of mutual understanding and respect in the relationship. My sixth sense tells me that if both of you focus on the feelings of the other person, there will be more patience and understanding.

Once you start focusing on the feelings of each other, you have the basis of manners and etiquette...but more importantly than that, you have the basis of a happy, successful relationship.

Best of luck to you!