Should ex's wife be invited to family bridal shower?

by LW
(Chicago)

Two of my step-daughters are in husband's niece's wedding. His ex was invited because her daughters are in the wedding. This has happened several times now. The divorce was not amicable & neither my husband or his former wife are on speaking terms. Ex carries on with family members as if she is still a part of the family. My step-daughters see nothing wrong with this. My husband divorced his wife over 7 years ago. We have been married 6 1/2 years. I came into picture after divorced was initialized by my husband.


Jun 14, 2011
Should the ex be invited or not?
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

This is a tricky situation as every family tends to handle it differently.

In my family, when there is a divorce, that person is really not invited to anything anymore. The only exception is if there is a shower or something going on for one of their biological children. Then they have a right to be there.

Other families seem to have a difficult time severing that relationship even if the break-up was not amicable. This can be increasingly difficult if they had good relationships with other members of the family.

This is one of the reasons that divorce is so difficult. Even after the divorce is complete, there are still times like this where they have to be involved in some aspects.

If there were children in that relationship where there was a divorce, the ex will never be completely out of their life as they have a right to be there and be involved with the children.

This may be an awkward situation for the husband, but the ex-wife has an entitlement to be involved in her children's life. Even if the divorce was not amicable.

Even though it is uncomfortable, she has to be there to support her children. In fact, if she wasn't there to support her children, you would probably be talking about how she is a terrible mother and has abandoned the kids.

The bottom line is that she has the right to be a mom and you have to respect that she wants to be involved. All you really can do is make the best of it as uncomfortable as it may be.