Should my Husband's ex-wife be invited to his brother's wedding?

by Serena
(Long Island NY)

My husband's ex-wife and I get along and are cordial with one another due to the fact that she and my husband do have two children together. The family knows that we get along and just assumes that I would be okay with her coming to my husband's wedding. My step children are not in the wedding, they will just be attending. Is it right that she attend? I am kind of on the fence about it, no one asked me or my husband how we felt about it. What should I do?

Sept 19, 2011
The Ex-Wife at the Wedding
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

This is another one of those situations where divorce has not finalized everything. I know a lot of people that think that once their divorce is complete, that their ex is now out of their life. It never is "complete" to tell you the truth.

So, what should you do and is the situation right?

Well, since it is not your wedding, there really isn't anything that you can do. Unfortunately, it is not your decision who comes to your husband's brother's wedding. So, you cannot change it and it is best just to go with the flow in this circumstance.

The bigger deal you make of this, the worse it is going to be and the more you are going to damage relationships with his family.

It may be uncomfortable, but they shared a life together. They have had kids together. And his wife has a relationship with members of his family. So, she is going to be around and there isn't much to be done about it.

The best thing to do is to handle it with poise and grace. Then people will see that your husband ended up with the better person.