Thank you notes for funeral flowers

We received several floral arrangements that were from
'Mr. and Mrs. Smith and families'
How do we handle the thank you cards? Do we send it to Mr. and Mrs. Smith and families or send one to each of the families?


May 26, 2011
Thank you notes for funeral flowers from multiple families
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

There are a couple of different answers to your question. There is the "traditional school of thought" and there is our recommendation.

Tradition says that you should address the thank you card the way that it was on the card that accompanied the flowers. So, in your case, you would address the thank you card as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and families" because that is the way that it was given to you.

If the card on the flowers has each of the people named individually, tradition says that you can send one thank you card, but you would mention each of them by name.

Our recommendation is slightly different. Since our viewpoint on manners and etiquette deals with using etiquette principles to influence people and make an impression, we would recommend going the extra mile.

If you take the time to send each family their own thank you card, they will realize that you went out of your way to thank and recognize them. Everyone always feels better about receiving a thank you card. You could use this opportunity to remember them.

The other reason that this is beneficial is that it can also help with the healing process of losing a loved one. I remember when my father passed away, it was comforting to send out thank you cards and to review the guest book. It helped me to be aware of how many people loved and supported us and that really did help with the healing process.