Wedding is long distance...do you just send save the date to who you think might come?

by Pat Webb
(Belleville, Mi.)

The wedding is very long distance. Do you send everyone who is long distance save the date...or...just to those you think that might come to the wedding that live long distance...or...should everyone you are inviting to the wedding be sent save the date?

This would be a very expensive trip for everyone that is long distance. The wedding is in Washington State and the groom's family and friends live in Michigan.


Jun 22, 2011
Save The Date
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

Long distance weddings are a bit more complicated to plan. In many circumstances the best way to prepare is to give yourself a lot of time.

Your question was about whom to send the save the date cards to. As the bride and groom are compiling a guest list, they need to take into consideration the travel that would be required for their guests to come. They should not leave someone out because they 'feel' they would not be able to come.

Save the date cards for long distance weddings are sent out between 4 to 6 months in advance. This will give the guests ample time to make travel arrangements if they choose to attend.

Another option for the bride and groom would be to have an open house or reception closer to the groom's family and friends. This would allow them to celebrate with the couple if they could not afford to travel to the wedding.

The save the date cards should be sent out to the people whom the bride and groom have put on their guest list. Allowing them the time to make travel arrangements is showing the guests that you would love for them to attend. It also allows them time to let you know that they would not be able to attend.

My husband and I were invited to a wedding that was located across the country from us. Like your situation, the travel was expensive. However, we had enough time to hunt down good bargains for our flights. The wedding party had arranged for discount hotel accommodations for their guests. In the beginning we were not planning on attending, however we were able to find arrangements that fit our budget and we have never regretted going.

Best wishes on a wonderful wedding!