Whose mom do you spend time with on mothers day?

by Trevor
(Spokane, WA)

We are married, have 3 children. Both of our mothers live in town, and both want us over to their houses for a 2-3 hour event. We both love our mothers, but my wife is a mother of 3 and it is her day as well. Are we wrong to not want to spend basically the whole day with them? Both of our parents seem to have their feelings hurt when we don't attend the bbq's they plan on Mother's Day, but their parents live out of town, so all they have to do is a phone call and their "Mother's Day" duties are taken care of. Part of me feels selfish for feeling like Mothers Day is now my wife's day, and my/her mother should back down, but it is my wife's day, and I feel we should be able to do whatever she wants to do. Any help with this dilemma would be appreciated.


Jun 11, 2011
if it's not one thing...
by: AlsoAMom

Your wife deserves the same day every other mother gets. If she would like a mother's day to herself, she should have one. She has met the same qualifications that entitle her to this day that the rest of us have. Our mothers have already had their days celebrated by us when we were children. The cycle goes on. Same with father's day. That's my opinion. The mothers won't like it but if you explain the reason, they will understand. Besides, I'm of the belief that visits should not revolve around holidays. A way you could do it also is satisfy both moms the week before. one on the saturday, the other on sunday. that way the following weekend is all to your family.


May 06, 2011
Mother's Day Dilemma
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question. It is one that has been asked so many times.
You have a valid point. I am a mother as well with both parents living close. There have been many Mother's Days that I would love to have just relaxed and had my day.
Here is what we have done to make it all work for everyone, and hopefully this suggestion would help. I take my Mother's Day on Saturday. It is the day I get to have to relax, spend time with my little family and do what we would like to do. It has helped me feel better about dividing up the next day with my Mother and Mother-in-Law. I feel it is very important that they are both celebrated, because they are both amazing women.
My best suggestion would be to give your wife her day the day before. It might even be fun to surprise her this year with it.
Best wishes!!!