Why do long term live in couples think they deserve a gift?

A couple I know have been living together for more than 5 yrs (in a house she bought). They decided to get married and registered at no less than 3 department stores for high end gifts and common household items. It's not like they don't have an established household!

Since when does a couple 'deserve' (and why should they expect) their friends to support them in what seems only an attempt for cash or presents?


Aug 01, 2011
No gift for them!
by: Carolyn

I'm looking at this page because I am in the same dilemma right now. It's my cousin and they have 3 kids!!!!I think they are totally inappropriate to send the invitations and register and so on and so on. They should marry quietly with family and friends that are interested.


Jul 25, 2011
Gift Question
by: Wendy (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Thank you for your question.

Your point of view is, I am sure, shared by many in this same situation. It is difficult to know what to purchase a couple who has already established themselves and their household prior to a wedding. It is difficult to understand what their motives may be in registering at this time.

Many couples who choose to get married love the idea of presents. Some love the idea of monetary gifts to help them get started. Last, but not least, there are those who love it all. This includes couples who have and have not established a household.

A wedding gift is presented as a token of well wishing for the couple's new journey. Even though you feel like their motives are not the best, you can still wish them well in their marriage. Your gift can be something that has meaning to you and them, that is unique and fits into your budget (and heart).

I hope this helps in one way or another.